Death Star Progress Report
As you may have felt from the minor disturbances in the force, there have been some personnel issues during the test firing of the new Death Stars medium-range defensive cannons.
An accident during a live fire exercise has resulted in the death of an infantry stormtrooper.
A subsequent investigation determined that the personnel register originally drawn up for the Death Star’s crew (see graphic) did not include any actual Death Star Gunners. This oversight forced the Moff in charge of tasking to use the only senior staff not already assigned to critical tasks. That’s right – we had to use managers. Unfortunately the manager in charge of test-firing the medium-range cannons was trying to cut corners and get to lunch early, so failed to aim before they fired.
I have dealt with the manager responsible appropriately.
I have also ensured that some trained, experienced Death Star Gunners have been posted to the Death Star. The medium-range guns have now been thoroughly tested.
The Death Star WILL be completed on schedule.
All my love,
— Darth Vader